No…it’s really not. Not even a little bit cool.
Ah….Adam Sandler, before he got all serious. He had some funny movies. Happy Gilmore will always be a favorite of mine. But seriously….this is a lifting blog. So let’s talk about lifting. My lift today was a joyous event (add a THICK layer of sarcasm here). I had another long day and was wiped out by the time I got to the gym. I was a little out of it so I forgot to drink my pre-workout goodness before I went to the gym. So I showed up with pink white powder in a baggie in search of a cup to do some Tom Cruise-style cocktailin’.
Little known fact- my bf gets told that he looks like Tom Cruise ALL the time. I don’t see it. At all.
Unfortunately, there was no cup to be found. I even went back out to my car to see if there was a pop bottle that had been baking in my back seat leaching toxic plastic molecules into the tablespoon of backwash left in the bottom. Nothing. At this point, the pre-workout shake was like crack…I had to have it. I contemplated trying to eat a big mouthful of powder and then wash it down with water out of the drinking fountain. Gross. That wouldn’t work. So I was left with the only plausible solution. I took the pen mug and used it to drink my shake….leaky ink and all. Yeah, I stooped that low. I can still taste the ink.
Then the lifting began. I was supposed to do 5 sets of 5 at 170, but I have a serious problem with 2.5 pound weights when you’re lifting legs. And I was apparently feeling like a rockstar so I bumped it up to 175. I was a bit intimidated given that I tried the same thing last week and couldn’t come close, but I was determined. I just drank ink to prepare for this lift….gosh darnit!!! So I did it, and it felt really good. I felt strong…on top of the world actually. And then…..I moved on to rack deadlifts. This is when I slipped off the top of the world and fell crashing to the bottom of a lava spewing volcano. I was supposed to do 3 sets of 5 at 250. Um…no. I was warming up and got to 225 and could barely finish the reps, so that’s where I stayed friends. And this is, unfortunately, where Adam Sandler comes in. I remember a while back I was reading some tips for female power lifters. At the bottom of the list, one of the tips said that women should always were a pad while lifting because you just never know. I remember thinking…..you never know what? What could possibly happen? Well, today I found out. I strained so hard on those stinkin deadlifts….I could have sworn I peed a little. I couldn’t believe it. I’d never felt anything like that. I was just waiting to stand up and find myself in my own little kiddie pool. Luckily I stayed dry through the duration of the lift, but I have now officially headed the warning. Loud and clear ladies. 10-4….niner (did I hear a niner in there?).
Since I’m on a roll with movie references. Gotta love Tommy Boy!
Oh, and one last thought. I know I shouldn’t do this because it will only perpetuate the problem, but I can’t help it. Some one actually found my blog today by searching for “massive boobs on a plate”. Sufferin succotash….seriously? WTF? I will again insert random words to help counteract this problem, like…..buns of steel, gun show, and tater tots (so I ran out of cool lifting words, shut it).
Apparently the theme of today’s blog was “everything you didn’t need to know about me”. Ah well, hope a good time was had by all.