Nice try Bret, but those abs are totally airbrushed….
So I haven’t been listening to any poison, but I do feel like I’ve been subjected to a lot of it. I actually feel like I’ve been guzzling gasoline or something equally disgusting like lead paint. Tonight I’m going to start to investigate all potential plot lines. I’ll make sure to switch out all my food and beverages with the portions that my bf intended for himself. You never know…he could finally be fed up with me. Of course, he wouldn’t want to spend the rest of his life in prison, so secretly poisoning me would be the only logical solution. He’s too sweet for that though, I think? I can also safely eliminate my daily poo exposure. I’ve been working at the poop plant for five years now and haven’t had any problems to date. Otherwise, that would be the obvious choice. The only other thing I can think of would be my coworker that works with/under me. She’s been eyeing a full time position at the poop plant for a few years now (of course, who wouldn’t want to work here?). She’s mentioned her secret ploy to tamper with my birth control pills so that I spontaneously have five children and have to quit my job so that she can have it. But in her desperation, i think it’s a possibility that she’s moved on to bigger and better ideas. Eliminating me all together would take me out of the job market entirely. Less competition for her! By George (not to be confused with Boy George), I think I’ve got it.
Despite my current state of illness, I tried to get a workout in last night. I had a bit more trouble getting myself to the gym than normal. That should have been my first sign. It was leg day so it was another round of 5×5 squats at 185. I initially questioned why I would do the same number of reps at the same weight again, but later I realized that staying the same would be just fine. In fact, I could barely do it the second time. My muscles were still fatigued from Monday, and this cold was not helping at all. I got progressively more light-headed throughout the entire workout. Ugh. Luckily, I didn’t have to do standard deadlifts, just straight leg. I did 3×12 with lighter weight and then 3×12 reverse hyper. It was tough. I felt pukey and woozy and dizzy. Not ideal workout conditions. When I woke up feeling the same way today, I decided that a break from the gym might be in order. So I’m taking the next three days off and hoping to feel a LOT better by Monday. I have all next week off and if I’m sick all week….I’m going to be pissed!!!!
I’ll leave with the new Target ads. Have you seen them? Absolutely hilarious! Ab crunches in a skin-tight track suit and red heels……need I say more?