Some sports….say distance running, have many practical, real-life applications. A distance runner would be a champ at many recreational activities like hiking or long walks on the beach. A tennis player would have cat-like reflexes and would likely be able to expertly catch an annoying fly (or misquito) with chopsticks. But powerlifting…..hmmm. I suppose I should be able to carry heavy things around the house, but I still like to leave that one to the husband-to-be ; ) I tell people that I really only like to lift things that are perfectly balanced with nice, easily-acessible, grippy handles. That really doesn’t apply to anything I have around the house. Occasionally, I get roped into it anyway. I’ve always been the designated car-pusher-outer. I only push because I can’t wrap my mind around the rocking method of slamming the car into forward and reverse, but whatever. When I want furniture moved around, I reluctantly help if it’s a two person job. But otherwise I stick to cooking, dishes, and shopping.
The one real life application I have found for powerlifting was discovered in the most obscure place. Living in the frigid cold of Northern Minnesota, I spend six months of the year frozen solid. And it’s not just my person that’s frozen. It’s my house, the streets, the sidewalks, and especially my car. Frozen. Solid. Getting the doors open is always an interesting task. I, of course, have no garage so every morning is a bit of a crap shoot. I am oh so grateful for the little guy behind the curtain that invented those remote unlock buttons that we all have on our key chains. If it weren’t for those, I don’t think I’d ever get into my car. On the occasion that I have actually had to use the key, it has not been pretty. For some reason the only keyhole that does not freeze completely solid is for my hatch. Funny. So now you can envision me crawling into the back end of my station wagon, slithering over the seats- head first of course, and then reaching around to opn my front door and spill out of the door onto the frozen asphalt- head first again of course. It’s real fun, you should come visit. Anywho, the other annoyance of having a frozen car is having frozen windows. I’m not sure what it is about this weather, but it must be the most optimal conditions to create the thinnest, most rock-hard window frost on the planet. It is insane. In the past, running the window scraper over it would simply rough up the outer layer making it even more white and crusty. But now…..with my oh so burly powerlifting strength…..the frost is no match for me! I peel it off in sheets like it’s a tasty layer of frosting (so maybe I’m having some killer sugar cravings today). So there you have it. A real life application for power lifting.
In an effort to improve my window scraping ability, I did a mean bench workout yesterday. In light of my pathetic performance last week, I was sent back to the bench with the same goal in mind- 5×3 at 135 pounds. Given that I failed on several sets last week, I was reluctant to repeat my attempts without a spotter. All the trainers at the gym were busy, of course, so I was kind of stuck. But then I noticed one of the other guys that just started lifting at the gym was getting ready to leave. Hmmmm, maybe he would stick around to spot me? So I asked him if he was in a rush to get out of there. “Uh, I just had to quit my workout half way through because my stomach is really upset.” Oh, I said, do you have a flu bug or something? “No, I just made a bad choice for lunch.” *Perfect…not contagious!* So, I said, would you want to stick around to spot me for a few sets…and by a few I mean 5 😉 “Uh…..yeah….I……guess so.” Excellent. Okay, so it was slightly evil, but it allowed me to crank out all five sets with crazy confidence! Thank you Mr. Sick Guy, I’m done now. Good day.
Next up was some dumbbell rows, some bleeping floor bench (hate it!), and shoulder raises. Those babies were only slightly less pathetic than they were a few weeks ago. I don’t understand it. My poor shoulders…..neglected and useless. They’re sore today too…whimpering like the pathetic sissies that they are. Ugh. I’m very glad to have the day off today! Tonight, instead of serving up hot, steaming iron in the gym (yeah, I’m cheesy like that), I’ll be volunteering at the local food shelf serving dinner to the needy folk in our community. Should be a good time.