Oh my, there has been so much negativity swirling around me lately. The fiance affectionately refers to me as “crabass” most days. So I’ll, for once, give him credit for being right. I have been crabby. Crabby about all the planning/work I’ve been doing for our upcoming nuptuals. I so wish I could be one of those people that just rolls with the punches and pulls off absolutely fabulous events without even trying or caring. Nope, I have to think about every detail. It’s truly a curse…I guess it’s the (strongly supressed) career waitress in me. My soon to be groom just nods and gradually adjusts the volume on the TV while I blabber on. It’s fine….I understand I’m genetically predisposed to care about this sh*t. And seriously, if he was asking me what kind of flowers we were going to have and if the bridesmaid dress was going to have pick ups and a sweetheart neckline….I’d run as fast as I could in the opposite direction.
I have no explanation for this one….just thought it was great!
Another reason I’m crabby is because I’m battling the weight loss demons again. This is my 500th attempt to cut down to a lower weight class. It’s god awful terrible trying to lose weight. Thinking about every stupid thing that you put in your mouth….ugh. The good news is that I’ve managed to cut about 6 pounds. The bad new is that I’ve got another 6 to go. I’m on a very restricted carb schedule- with the exception of fruits and veggies. And lots of lean protein. Do you have any idea how awful it is to eat plain chicken breasts 5 nights in a row? It’s not fun. I have discovered that eating this type of food makes it absolutely impossible to over eat. I sit down with the portions that I should be eating for lunch and dinner. The sh*t tastes so bad that I have to talk myself into almost every bite. I feel like a 2 year old and my mom is trying to get me to eat “just one more bite pooky wooky-kins.” Lame. I’ve seriously debated dipping every bite in water like the competitive eaters do in order to make it go down easier.
I’ve had a few close calls over the last few weeks of “detoxing” from carbs and sugar (also a carb, I know). One of the worst times was when my friend/coworker thought that it would be a fabulous idea to go do some recycling education work in a school cafeteria (hanging signs, etc.) DURING LUNCH. You know what kids are eating for lunch these days? Oh….the days of nasty square pizza and chicken patties are over. I had to stand there and watch them cram curly fries and luscuious Pizza Hut pizza down their throats…meanwhile I’ve gone 10 full days without a non-fruit/veggie carb or refined sugar. I wanted to KILL HER….and every kid in that lunchroom. Dead. And then eat ALL of their curly fries and pizza. It was pretty brutal.
I’ve had a few slip ups along the way, but I’m hanging in there. I’ve noticed some variation in my strength, and I fully expect it to decrease a bit. I have at least 7 weeks before my next meet. Hopefully that will be enough time to cut the rest of the weight and then build up some of the strength I lose? We’ll see.