I still cringe every time I hear that Rod Stewart song. I can’t believe that was actually a hit. What were people thinking? However, maybe the reason that I really can’t stand that song is because I don’t have hot legs? I’m sure it has something to do with my deeply suppressed jealousy of women (and men) with nice legs. I’ve mentioned the dichotomy of thigh-rubbers versus non-thigh-rubbers. I’d say that those two groups could also be classified as nice legs and….not so nice legs. There are, of course, exceptions to every rule.
Serena’s got some hot legs, but I’d be willing to bet those thighs have a high affinity for one another.
Some women are just born with great legs. They’re long, and skinny to go along with the rest of their perfect looks.
Even Jessica Simpson…despite tons of claims that her looks are quickly diminishing….has some hot legs!!
And this brings back to my whole pre-determined destiny theory. Legs….you either have ‘em or you don’t. Anyone who’s picked up a magazine….Glamour, Shape, Cosmo….has seen the well defined shapes that women are supposed to fit into. If you’re petite, wear super tight clothes that make you look hot. If you’re apple shaped, chose one of the 10 bazillion tops that are currently in stores to flatter your shape and expertly hide your muffin top. If you’re pear shaped, go to the nearest sporting goods store and buy a tent to wrap yourself in because there is absolutely no hope for you. (Can you tell what category I’m in ; ) It kills me! Yet another aspect of life that is just not fair.
Those apple shapes, I tell ya they’ve got it made. Even when things get really out of control on top, they still have rockin hot legs!
Look…she’s got magical disappearing legs!!!
A pear shape, on the other hand, is screwed. When you’re a pair and you start gaining weight…..this is the effect is has on your body.
Affectionately referred to as the donkey booty.
There is no camouflage or frilly, cute top that will hide exploding thighs and a donkey booty. And the worst part is, even when you get things under control, there is still a strong chance that your legs still won’t be suitable for public. Enter…..ugly knee syndrome.
Oh god….make it stop.
This is the boat I’m in- Pear shaped with deformed knees. Good thing they make really cute jeans!! And my summer staple…capris (specially formulated for ugly kneed pears)!! So there you have it, my rant on my effed genetics. I’m sure you wouldn’t have to look to hard to find an apple out there that would trade her pinky toe to be in my pear shaped shoes, but that really doesn’t make me feel any better. So for now I will just sick back and quietly think evil thoughts whenever I see skinny legged girls in their short shorts and mini skirts.