I’m still reliving the many, many wonderful moments of my recent vacations. I had so much fun…I could probably blog about it for weeks. However, in an effort to keep my main focus on weight lifting, and keeping in mind that most of you probably could care less how much fun I had on vacation….I’ve tried to keep myself in check. BUT, there is one story that I just have to tell. It was the best/worse cab ride ever. It will live on in memory forever. It was just one of those things that will never happen to you twice….we drew the short straw that day so it was our turn to dance with the Hatian Yellow Cab Devil (HYCD).
In case you havne’t figure this out about me yet, I love Orlando. I never would have guessed it, but I can honestly say i’m a lifer. My Uncle has always been strangely obsessed with all things Disney World and Orlando for years. He has several time shares in Orlando and has always tried to get me to come down and hang out. I put him off for years, but finally gave in last winter. I’ve been back 3 times since then and have definite plans to go back in January next year and maybe even November of this year. What can I say? I’m hooked. I love Universal/Islands of Adventure the most, but a trip to Epcot is a must. We go around the world (well, we got pretty hung up in Mexico this time around) to get a taste of every country….with the exception of the US and Canada. We can get Bud Light and Labatt’s at home. The only downside to going to Epcot, is that it’s a ways away from our hotel….hence the cab ride. On the way down, we had a very pleasant ride, but on the way back…..it was on like Donkey Kong!
We got in the cab with the HYCD and the first thing that I notice was that there was a full bottle of water rolling around at my feet. Annoying. So I picked it up and tossed it into the empty passengers seat.
HYCD: Oh, no…..you shouldn’t have done that. That was rude!
MOH: Rude, why? It was rolling around at her feet.
HYCD: I had a British woman in here the other day that threw a banana peel at me.
MOH: She didn’t throw it, she just put it in the front seat.
HYCD: We clean our cabs everyday.
Me and MOH: wtf?
So, obviously, at this point the HYCD is pissed. Some British lady pissed him off the other day, now he’s got sand in his vajayjay, and he’s taking it out on us. Great. The cab ride was about 20 minutes and we didn’t really talk to him much after that (I don’t think anyway), but when we pulled up to our hotel…..
Me and MOH: Shit…I don’t have any cash. Do you? No….spent it all on tequila.
MOH: Do you take cards, or do we have to have cash?
HYCD: I don’t take cards. There is an ATM in the hotel. I wait.
MOH: You don’t take cards? Well, what’s that swipey thing on your cab meter then?
HYCD: Oh, this? It is for credit cards, but there are fees. You should use ATM.
MOH: Well, what are the fees? The ATM has fees too.
HYCD: It is 10%. (The meter was at $29.70 at this point)
MOH: So $3, okay. We’ll just pay here.
HYCD: Uh…no. In my experience You People are not good tippers.
Me: You people? What do you mean by ‘You People’? Do you mean White People? Young People? Women?
HYCD: I mean young ladies like you….don’t tip well.
Me: Here (thrusting my card at him). Swipe the card. We’re definitely not going to the ATM now.
HYCD swiped the card and handed it back. Two little receipts popped up and said Total $29.70, THANK YOU
HYCD: Can I have your card again please, I need to swipe it.
MOH: What? We just gave you our card, and two receipts printed out.
HYCD: No, you have not paid. I need your card back!
MOH: We’re NOT giving you the card back. We already paid.
HYCD: Okay……BRING. IT. ON.
Me and MOH: wtf?????? Did he just say Bring It On????
HYCD: Okay, I’m going to call the cops then.
Me: Please….call the cops. I’d love to speak with them!
Me and MOH: you realize he isn’t making any money at all with us sitting in his cab right? Sweet….let’s take our time with this.
HYCD: (on the phone) Hello, this is HYCD, I need to confirm a transaction.
Me: Give me the phone! (I very nicely snatched it from his grubby mits)
Me on the phone: Hi, this is AJ.
Cab Dispatch: (so polite) Hello, I’m just looking up your transaction now.
Me to MOH: It’s not the cops! Not the Cops.
MOH to HYCD: (I have no idea what was said because I was on the phone, but I don’t think it was pleasant)
Cab Dispatch: I can’t find your transaction can you read me your card number again?
Me: Fine, I’ll give it to you but I’m not letting him swipe my card again!
Cab Dispatch: Okay now I need the driver’s ID number. Can you hand the phone back to him?
HYCD to Disbatch: These girls didn’t pay!!! I never swiped their card!!!
Me and MOH: Let’s go. (and out the cab we went)
Needless to say, it was a sobering experience. I spent a good hour on the phone with the cab company after we got home retelling the story and making sure that the HYCD was held accountable for his actions. I was charged twice for the cab ride, but they remedied that for me. Like I said, that kind of a mess only crops up once in a lifetime. It was definitely off the meters!!!!